tRuSt AnD lOvE???

Life is Mysterious

Sometimes in the past, late at night when it's too quiet to pretend…
I worry if I believe in anything at all or at least in anything beautiful.
I believe in change because it is permanent.
I believe in pain because it is sometimes physical.
I believe in anger because it can consume you.
But I was not sure I can believe in either love or trust
I could not then understand these two things most people build their dreams on…

Love fails to be unconditional by that one condition itself.
It ends when we fall out of it.
Then, we claim it that never was love…because love shouldn't die.
As for trust, it was self-explanatory until I doubted it.
When curiosity gives way to suspicion, betrayal isn't far behind.
For every failed judgment, we ask ourselves;
"Did I trust too little or too much?"
It is difficult to shut up every question in favor of complete trust
And only to realize it's too late…
Something you could have known had you only asked.
Where does love and trust start and end?

I have seen hundreds of people disappointed over unfulfilling relationships.
I have seen passion turn into poison.
I have grieved with them for the love they lost or never found.
We seem to love so much, but now it's gone.
We ask ourselves;
"Why do I feel lonely even if he's right beside me? Why can't our relationship be more than this?".

Now, falling in love itself is doubted by people around you.
They cannot feel the warmth that consumes you.
They cannot ache with the turbulent and confusing anxiety and joy that grips you.
They do not know the mental stress you experience trying to rationalize your emotions.
They cannot believe that you do not want to be in love with a person who doesn't love you back.
Who can enjoy running around with your heart on your sleeve?
It's like trying to cross a tightrope and always falling into jagged cliffs,
Because you are nervous, oh so nervous!
Loving and loving without getting any response can be destructive to anyone.
It is a thousand deaths every time.
It's an "unmourned" for death because no one else can understand.

Love is not sustained by hope but by wishes.
There's a difference.
No matter how perverse, people suffering from unrequited love are trying to get out of it…
While secretly wishing that he'd give a sign to show it isn't hopeless.
In desperation, unrequited lovers can even imagine signs if only to remain sane.
How can you love a brick wall?
A dead end?
A slavery without any sign of salvation?
How foolish! How unreasonable!
Unfortunately, how human too!

"Why won't he love me?"
"What is wrong with me?", scattered thoughts echoing such pain are not exactly abnormal.
Even the best-looking, best-hearted people can't always expect others to love them back.
Why? People sometimes need to feel unloved by everyone so that they learn to love themselves.

There is nothing wrong with unrequited love.
It happens all the time.
I won't delude you into thinking that if…
He can't love you back, he is not worth it.
In fact, believe that he is.
He is worth it all the headaches, the anxiety, the embarrassment, etc.
He is worth it because like you, he needs others loving him.
This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason.
We are all part of a circle.
If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him.
It's a cycle.
Whose love are you not returning?

I know we can love deeply, tenderly, and lastingly.
I have seen such love and I have felt such love myself.
I learned that, aside from love and trust,
A fulfilling relationship begins when two people make their time together,
Is their number one priority.
If we hope to find love, we must first find time for loving.
Many couples experienced a tragic moment together that taught them to value their time together.
How we see our partners often depends on
How we are than how they are.
We are not audience but participant observers in each other's lives.

At the end of the day when all is said and done,
Loving without being loved back is the best thing to do
Because feeling so much pain, I learn to heal;
Knowing so much fear, I learn to stand up to anything;
Carrying so much sadness, I learn to glorify in joy.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure
Or won by a single caress
It is a lifetime venture in which we're always learning, discovering, and growing.

Lastly, this may be cliché but there is someone who is right for you (and even for me)
And even if he's not, he'd still be right because loving doesn't make sense until you accept it and make it real.
I dedicate this for all the people that I know who were once hurt by their someone special and learnt so many lessons from their experiences...