Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Shattered Heart's Journey: Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Bittersweet Love

“Ms. Cortez, are you with us?”
Mr. Harold is looking at me and waiting for my reply. It’s my art class right now. I just stared at him and nodded a little just to let him know that I’m still listening even though I’m looking in the window near from my seat.

I can’t help but feel uneasy right now. There are so many things that happened to me today. I can’t just forget it just for a minute. I really can’t. The more I try to avoid it, the more my mind gets confuse in every second counts.

Flashback

It’s my break and I decided to surprise my boyfriend in his soccer practice. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it. The game was over. So, I decided to go to the player’s locker room.

As I was looking for James inside the locker’s room. There was no sight of him so, I asked someone from his team for he might know where James could be. I recognized the guy instantly, it was Neil, and I met him when I went with James to their house party.
“Yo, where’s James?”
“Oh, hey Ashley! What’s up?”
“I’m okay. I’m looking for James. Where could he be?”
“…”
He’s just looking at me like he didn’t know what to do.
“Hey, is there something wrong? Are you okay, man?”
“Ahhmmm…I don’t know where James went after the practice…” he said while his eyes didn’t know where to focus. He didn’t even look at me while saying that. It’s like he knows something but didn’t know if he’s going to say it or not.
“Are you sure you really don’t know where James went? Or you do know but you don’t want to say it in front of me?...C’mon! Say it!”
I sense that something is going on. I have this strange notion.
“It’s not that---“
“Hey, Ashley! What are you doing here? James already left!” someone interrupted him.
I gave him a suspicious look before I look to the other guy.
He just kept his mouth shut.
“Really? Where did he go?”
I tried my best not to show my annoyance in front of the two guys.
“Yep! He’s with someone.”
Now, I get the picture. They’re hiding James to me because they think that I’m a war freak gal whenever someone is with James and I easily get jealous. I’m sorry to tell you this but I’m not that kind of girl. I don’t easily get jealous and I’m open to everything because everyone deserves to live according to their desire not for others will.
I look at them with an inquiring look.
I noticed that the two guys’ exchanges look before they turn their look to me.
“Who’s with him?”
“He’s with----“
“Ashley, I think you don’t wanna know who’s with him…” Neil interrupted the other guy.
“Why is that?”
“I just know it. Just don’t make us say it to you…”
Neil said while he gives a warning look at his team mate.
“Where is he?” I asked again and this time with urgency.
“…”
“I need to know where he is…”
I’m really getting pissed off right now…
“…”
So, they don’t want to tell me the truth huh? Then be it…I walked briskly towards the door and went out. What’s with them? Arrggghhh…
I continue on walking with no direction until I ended up in the parking lot. I don’t know what I’m doing there.

“Hmmm…maybe I should look for James’s car…His car should be somewhere out here.”
I roam my eyes around the vicinity until something caught my eyes.
I found my boyfriend’s car. Still, James is nowhere to be found. I turned around and I was about to leave when I heard some noise. Curiosity struck me.

I look around to know where the sound is coming from. My eyes went big when I spotted it.
I walk towards the car and my heart starts to beat fast like crazy.
I heard a more distinct sound as I took a step towards to the car.
It was suspenseful as I took steps. It’s like every step that I took, it adds to the increasing rate of my heart. What if it’s not James’s car? What if it’s just an accident that the car is the same with my boyfriend’s? So many what ifs bugging me right now. What if it’s James’s car and he’s inside doing something? Nahh…He wouldn’t do that. He loves me so much that he promised that he’ll be always with me. But what if? Who knows? Every step is heavy for me. I felt that something bad would happen. Something really bad…

“You’re unbelievable.”
That was all I could say when I reached the car.
I feel like heaven and earth were crushed together.
I stood in stunned silence in front of the window while watching the two people inside the car.
Now I know why they don’t want to tell James’s location to me.
Minutes had passed and I didn’t notice that the girl is now looking at me with those big brown eyes like she’s so astounded.
When the girl stopped, James turned around. He was startled.
That’s when I turned my back to them and ran away.
“Ashley, wait up!”
It wasn’t other's car. It wasn’t some other guy who will do something like that at the back of his girlfriend. He was boyfriend and my boyfriend is making out with a girl. Oh, gosh. Even my eyes couldn’t believe it. My boyfriend for two years did cheat on me. He cheated on me.

I ran as fast as I could and feels the tears forming on my eyes. I ran towards the nearest tree that I saw in the field. I compose myself and force not to cry. I shouldn’t be crying. I should know it from the very start that no one can love me truly…
I look at the field in front of me. There, right here, I found my solitude…Until someone embraced me…
And his face, his expressive dark black eyes, his arms, his warmth…keeps on reminding me of someone that I knew very much…

End of flashback

*****

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